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They chat over drinks, then scurry away for group sex. A pile of bodies writhes on the bed.. Even Coronation Street's staid shop boss Rita Sullivan is about to discover the debauched new past-time when she stumbles on a swingers' party thrown by her old pal Rula Romanoff played by Honor Blackman.
The ITV scenes, due to be screened this autumn, are played for laughs. But for thousands of real-life executives, lawyers and businessmen who secretly gather every weekend for lust-crazed parties organised on the Internet, it's very serious. Here is her eye-opening IT is 10pm on a Saturday night and I turn off a motor way to a country lane and see a lit up with fairy lights - the post for Swingers Junction.
I'm here with a People photographer posing as a young couple "eager to experiment". We have told the hosts - Warwick and Caron - that we've been going out for four months and just want to get a feel for "the scene". Angela is a bottle-blonde public relations executive tarted-up in a black thigh-high dress.
Balding Simon is wearing a dark suit with a studded dog collar. Angela confides: "We don't know what to expect, but we can't wait to get started. Derek, whose day job is groundkeeper at the mansion, shows us the orgy room, the observer's gallery, the sex games parlour and a soon-to-be-built torture chamber. He rubs his hands and announces that although he's never swung before, he hopes tonight will be his lucky night.
This, we are informed, is the slang term for watching others have sex. His stunning slim blonde wife, decked from head to toe in black Lycra, keeps a close eye on him as older men salivate over her. She doesn't look happy at all, as if she has been persuaded to come here and now wishes she was a million miles away.
I feel a little sorry for her. There are around 70 guests, ranging from 25 to year-olds, and all are out to impress, flashing their executive car key rings and talking about their villas in the South of France. The cut-glass accents strike up very polite conversations in a typical, English way as they sip white wine. There is an air of anticipation but at the same time, no one wants to be the one to make the first move. Everyone seems to be sizing each other up - I can feel a dozen pair of eyes mentally undressing me.
David was in the Army - but is cagey about his rank - and Susan, who looks about 10 years younger than her hubby, met him at work. The chit-chat lasts just seven minutes before Susan tells us she is bi-sexual and looking for a female partner. We are being "sounded out". Midway through a conversation about her dying dog Susan says: "Do you know, there's nothing like a woman's touch. David and I have been married for a year and he brought out the lesbian in me, I tried to keep it suppressed but it's a thrill to know he loves to watch. They're waiting for us to make a that we want to fool around with them.
I can tell by the way Susan keeps dropping sexual references into otherwise very dull conversations. Between the hints we glean that David and Susan live in a small village near Plymouth, where bisexuality raises eyebrows, she says, so they drive miles in secret to explore their fantasy. At Three women begin fondling each other in front of their male partners as they down glasses of champagne.
One of the women, in her early forties, performs a sex act on the other women in turn, hitching up their tiny mini skirts to reveal they are wearing no undies. In return one of the wrinkly ladies whips off her top and shoves her sagging breasts in a tanned man's face while his mates chuckle like nervous schoolboys over a porn mag. A tall model-like woman begins groaning as her athletic husband touches her intimately, while keeping his eyes peeled on the saucy sex show.
Many make a beeline for the bedrooms and within minutes, there is a person orgy in the deated room. Naked bodies are rolling off the beds on to the floor. Couples writhe around in the smaller rooms as a queues form to watch and take part. An onlooker says: "This is unbelievable, I've been here before and I've never seen it get so heated, this place gets better every time. It is clear that some women are not happy to be there and sit uncomfortably in the living room, while the wild partying goes on next door. Later naked swingers dash to the kitchen to pick up plates of sausage rolls, sandwiches and quiche before heading back to the bedrooms for more action.
Warwick and Caron bought Swingers Junction at Totton near Southampton earlier this year solely to hold swinging parties. Warwick, a body artist who boasts 13 piercings including a tear-inducing "Jacob's Ladder" on his penis, tells me: "I've been swinging for 10 years and watching the scene get more popular. It warns: "Shower, shave if necessary, brush your teeth, use deodorant, trim your nails.
There is no bigger turn off turn off than poor hygiene. And the website adds: "Please do not bring escorts as this could bring the Plod down on us, and anyway it's not in the spirit of things is it? Caron, dressed in a gossamer thin black shirt and trousers, tells me: "Often the parties go on all night and in the morning there are still people lingering about.
But it's all worth it for the fun we have. A lawyer runs into the kitchen from the hot-tub in the garden, with just a small towel to hide his modesty. As he strides past, he says: "Parties like this cannot be beaten, it's nothing like what we do in our day-to-day lives.
It's my best kept secret. He picks up a banana and he back to the hot-tub where three naked brunettes and a blonde are waiting. We leave at 2am and the party is still in full swing - it looks like it'll be going on all night but I can't face seeing any more flesh. All I want is long, hot bath - strictly on my own. Don't miss out on the biggest soaps gossip! Get a daily direct to your inbox with our newsletter. TV Films. Funeral Notices Horoscopes Offers Newsletter up. Voucher codes Asos Nike Argos. John Lewis Currys. In Your Area. Got A Story.
They include Angela, 34, and her boyfriend Simon, 32, who are Swingers Junction virgins. They've swung with friends but want to up the stakes and have sex with strangers. Susan and David, 40, approach us and start to make small talk. Nobody acts shocked - they pretend it's all perfectly normal. As others turn to watch they start stimulating each other. There are limbs everywhere - it's like an explosion in a Barbie doll factory.
A bizarre guide to swinging etiquette is posted on the party's Internet website. Follow Mirror. Facebook Twitter. Get a daily direct to your inbox with our newsletter up. We use your -up to provide content in ways you've consented to and to improve our understanding of you.
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